| Location | Harpenden |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Genetic Condition |
| Date of Birth | 30/06/2003 |
| Date of Death | 30/06/2003 |
| Visitors | 2,486 since 11/05/2007 |
| Creator |
Leo Sanders
Born sleeping 30th June 2003
Big brother to Amber
Sadly never known but ALWAYS sadly missed
Leo was born at 23 weeks gestation. He had a condition called Patau Syndrome (Trisomy 13). He was induced at 11:00am and was born at 4:10pm wieghing just over 9oz.
It was February 2003 when we found out we were expecting. It was a planned pregnancy and we were surprised and thrilled when we fell pregnant so quickly.
The 12 week scan was fine and it was lovely to have a picture of you to show to everyone. It was remarked that you were a small baby but were told it was nothing to be concerned about. What a great joy it was to then tell the world our fantastic news. I started to feel you move at about 15 weeks and that was such a wonderful feeling - I didn't have much of a bump so you moving and kicking me made it all feel more real.
The 20 week scan was on the Monday (23rd June) and I was nearly 22 weeks. We had been on holiday the week before which I now feel guilty about. Whilst on holiday we celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary and loved showing off our "bump". We went for the scan full of optimism - we'd got this far into the pregnancy the possibility of problems didn't enter our heads. Then we were told the news - there was a problem with your heart. We were referred to Guys hospital a couple of days later for a more in-depth scan - the results of which were devastating. The left side of your heart hadn't developed and we were told that you wouldn't survive much after birth if you even made it that far. There was the possibility of surgery straight after you were born if we decided to carry on but they couldn't offer much hope - as it turned out there wouldn't have been anything they could have done. I just felt so numb and burst into tears - I cried all the way home, I can't actually remember stopping crying over the next few days.
Your Daddy and I decided that we couldn't let you go through all of this and we also couldn't bare to carry on knowing that it was only a matter of time until you grew your wings and not knowing if you were in pain or suffering because of the problems that you had. It was the hardest decision anyone could ever make but Monday 30th June 2003 at 11:00am I was induced. It was horrible going through a labour knowing we wouldn't be taking our baby home with us but we couldn't let you suffer for any longer. We never saw you or held you and I did wonder if I would regret this - I do wish I had found the courage to give you one last cuddle and I can't wait to hold you in heaven.
The PM results showed you had Trisomy 13 - a condition which placed faulty DNA into each and every cell of your tiny body. Whilst this brought some comfort that we had made the right decision it also broke our hearts that little bit more to know the full extent of your problems. You will ALWAYS be our gorgeous little prince. Sweet Dreams Darling - can't wait to hold you. We miss you so much each and every day xxxx
An Angel in the Book of Life
Wrote down my baby's birth
And whispered as she closed the book
"Too Beautiful For Earth"
Happy 8th birthday
Today should be happy
Today should be great
Today's my sons birthday
The day he turns 8
No party, no presents
No balloons, no cake
Just tears and emptyness
And hearts that still break
We love and miss him dearly
Every day and every night
Sweet dreams our little angel
Sleep well and sleep tight
On your 8th birthday Leo. Love and miss you as much as ever. Lots of love Mummy, Daddy and Amber xxxx
Fathers Day
Dont cry for me Daddy, I'm right here,
Although you cant see me I see your tears.
I visit you often, I go to work with you each day,
And when it's time for you to close your eyes, on your pillow is where I lay.
I hold your hand & stroke your hair, and whisper in your ear.
If you're sad today Daddy,Remember, I am here.
To an amazing Daddy from a very special little boy xxxxxxxxx
Born Asleep - by Unknown Author
“Born Asleep" - such a beautiful phrase,
Always touches me to the core.
The broken cries of a Mother's heart
When it just can't take anymore.
I open my heart, one Mum to another,
So you never lose your hope,
That although it gets no easier,
I promise you'll learn to cope.
Remember your Angel is sleeping
In a world much kinder than ours
And will always be there to hold your hand
Even in your darkest hours.
My own little Angel will keep an eye,
And play with yours in their park.
But you must find your love and strength,
And feed your own little spark.
You'll never be alone my friend,
I will always understand.
If the tides loom up to swallow you,
Just reach out and grab my hand.
XX
They say there is a reason,
They say that time will heal.
But neither time nor reason,
Will change the way I feel.
For no-one knows the heartache,
That lies behind my smiles.
No-one knows how many times,
I've have broken down and cried.
I want to tell you something,
So there won't be any doubt.
You're so wonderful to think of,
But so hard to be without.
On the 6th anniversary of your due date Leo. We miss and love you so much. All our love Mummy, Daddy and Amber xxx
Another T13 mummy
Hi - just wanted to say what a gorgeous site for Leo. I myself am another T13 mummy, my son David was born at 22 weeks in 2007 due to HLHS and Pataus.
If you ever wish to talk you can get me through here.
Love and hugs to you and yours xoxoxo
A Birthday In Heaven - Author Unknown
I heard you crying yesterday,
And felt your heart-sent love.
So I’m sending you this message
Now, from Heaven up above.
You’re wondering if I’ll celebrate
My birthday (way up here).
I know you’re missing me today
I feel your essence near.
God planned a special day for me,
He told me with a wink.
He’d ordered me a special cake
(It’s Angel food, I think).
Balloons will fill the streets for me,
They float up through the clouds.
And we have lots of friends up here
That make us laugh out loud.
There is a birthday carousel,
Jewelled horses ride the wind,
With music playing, oh so sweet…
The magic never ends.
I’ve made so many friends, you see
We laugh and play and sing.
We ride our bikes and play the fool
And sleep in Angel’s wings.
But we don’t blow out our candles here
Instead, they light the skies.
With love from your little Angel xxx
Special Angel Day - by Sam & Gordon Winson
We do not need a special day
To bring you to our minds.
The days we do not think of you
Are very hard to find.
Each morning when we awake
We know that you are gone.
And no one knows the heartache
As we try to carry on.
Our hearts still ache with sadness
And secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you
No one will ever know.
Our thoughts are always with you,
Your place no one can fill.
In life we loved you dearly;
In death we love you still.
There will always be a heartache,
And often a silent tear.
But always a precious memory
Of the days when you were here.
If tears would make a staircase,
And heartaches make a lane,
We'd walk the path to heaven
And bring you home again.
We hold you close within our hearts;
And there you will remain,
To walk with us throughout our lives
Until we meet again.
Our family chain is broken now,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
These are my footprints
so perfect and so small.
These tiny footprints,
Never touched the ground at all.
Not one tiny footprint,
For now I have my wings.
These tiny footprints were meant,
For other things.
You will hear my tiny footprints,
In the patter of the rain.
Gentle drops like angel's tears,
Of joy and not from pain.
You will see my tiny footprints,
In each butterflies' lazy dance.
I'll let you know I'm with you
if you just give me a chance.
You will see my tiny footprints
in the rustle of the leaves.
I will whisper names into the wind
and call each one that grieves.
Most of all, these tiny footprints
Are found on mummys and daddys heart.
'Cause even though I'm gone now
we’ll never truly part
Love and miss you loads. Mummy, Daddy and Amber xxx
Look for me in springtime
As raindrops fill the air
In the splendour of the rainbow
You’ll find my presence there.
You will find me in the fragrance
Of April’s sweet perfume
Drifting through the clover
On a sultry day in June.
An August day will find me
Upon the summer breeze
On the distant sound of the thunder
In the gently swaying trees.
In the golden fields of harvest
Is where I can be found
As autumn time approaches
And leaves comes tumbling down.
In the wintertime when days are short
And chill is in the air
Just look into a moonlit night
You’ll find me lingering there.
When the setting sun has gone away
And shadows fill the night
When the cloak of darkness lifts its veil
I’ll be your morning light.
So when you feel discouraged
And at night to God you pray
You’ll feel me there beside you
I’m just a breath away.
..�•.♥.•�.� •. ♥.•�.�•.♥.•..
I'm going to tell you something
I hope you'll never have to know.
I'll tell you how a heart can break
And tears can constant flow.
I lost my baby boy you see,
An angel in my eyes
God chose to take his hand one day
And led him to the skies.
But please do not forget my child
He was a person too
And forever he will live
Inside of me and you.
So, please don't ever tell me
That time will heal my pain
Because not even time
Can bring him back again !
Just tell me he is happy
In that land way up above
He's snuggled in an angels wings
All wrapped in Mummy and Daddy's love.
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